A medium to express what i think i want to express

Alone November 15, 2012

Filed under: Just Be Yourself — juzburself @ 2:29 pm
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It’s true and it’s proven when my friend wrote about blogging….

“ When I first started this blog, I thought it would be, among others, an escape. Someplace I can spill my guts when I can’t talk to any of my usual confidants. I thought this would be my last resort.Someplace I can say all of my worst fears and sadness to a pair of listening ears without being judged as pathetic or helpless. But then I remembered, as few visitors as there are here, they are, never the less, people I know. And so I am forced conceal some, if not all, of what’s in my heart and my head. Yes, damnit, what I am saying is that I have something to get off my chest and I’ve got nowhere to do it.  Not even here, in a blog of my own creation. Perhaps I should have an anonymous blog elsewhere. Hmm….now there’s a thought….” Shazlin Rahiman

Hmmm..Anyhow i would like to say Thank you to all my readers or followers for spending their time to read my grumblings ( i never thought i would have one). And i would like to say Sorry to everybody if i’ve ever hurt their feelings with my stories.

Like my tagline, it’s a medium for me to express what i think i want to express, but still human will be human. They will never let you live your life happily. They will always find a way to pull you down… Let me share with you what is my understanding on blogging:-

  1. It’s a freedom
  2. It’s free and you can also pay if you wanna be a serious blogger
  3. It can also be a medium to improve your grammar or writings
  4. You can share almost about everything; it can be about yourself, fashion, food, travel and many more.

For me, you can read any blog that you like, but you don’t have to take it too personal and get carried away with your emotions.. I do not know how to put this correctly but i happened to know that someone is trying to catch an attention using my blog. Look, if you don’t like me or my writing, you can either write a comment or just ignore it. I believe Allah gave you a good brain to think wise. You don’t have to talk behind my back, calling everyone in the world to hilight about my writings, because you were never worth mentioning in my blog.

I created the blog because i’m so stressed up with my work.. And you will never know how the stories that i mentioned in my blog connected to each other. If you feel like i’m writing about you, just ask yourself “Did the story really describe you? And do you really think that i really care to judge whatever you are doing?” If you’re answer is ‘Yes’, i can’t argue more. But i was hoping for ‘No’ because i know you personally. Like Voltaire said “Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do”.

Another thing i want you to know is my parents taught me everything that we ought to know… EVERYTHING, and Alhamdullilah we can still make them smile even though we can never pay back all their hardship to raise us up. Beside my parents, i have my aunty, uncle and cousins whom have been given me so much love and happiness since i was small. Thank you so much. I love all of you so much.

To Whom It May Concern, I’m sorry if i make your heart ache or making you feel like i’m writing about you in this blog. But, i hope you know that whoever that i mentioned is not you. Again, from the bottom of my heart, i apologise if i’ve ever insult you in any of my stories. I promise you that i will be more careful or delete the stories that you feel uncomfortable with.

I would like to end my entry tonight with Shazlin Rahiman thought:-

Sometimes the language of words seems the hardest thing in the world. Sometimes it is all that stands between me and what I mean to say. Sometimes the syllables just seem to lie more than tell. Sometimes what I say and what I mean refuse to come together. Sometimes my lips says indifference when my heart says……so much more. Sometimes it’s like starting a song in the wrong chord. You can keep playing but it’ll be out of tune. Sometimes the biggest fear is one that holds me from showing what is really behind the facade. Sometimes I feel like the biggest faker.

Albom on Schwartz said….

‘I thought about how often this was needed in everyday life. How we feel lonely, sometimes to the point of tears, but we don’t let these tears come because we are not supposed to cry. Or how we feel a surge of love for a partner but we don’t say anything because we’re frozen with fear of what those words might do to the relationship.

Morrie’s approach was exactly the oposite. Turn on the faucet. Wash yourself with the emotion. It won’t hurt you. It will only help. If you let the fear inside, if you pull it on like a familiar shirt, then you can say to yourself, “All right, it’s just fear. I don’t have to let it control me. I see it for what it is.” ‘

If only.

I’m Darweena, signing off.


Sad October 1, 2012

Filed under: A mi alrededor — juzburself @ 9:37 am
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She’s in her poor health now,

All she wants… is to be with her children, brothers and sisters,

Sadly, nobody seems to be attentive to her,

They keep pointing fingers on the caused instead of giving her a solution,

I don’t understand how can they be so cruel,

One of them giving the excuse to celebrate a Royal Highness birthday,

My thought is who is this Royal Highness?

You don’t even have a blood ties with them,

Why are you slaving yourself for them?

No wonder all your kids are worthless,

One of them is playing words in FB to show the worry,

I don’t think there is a necessity to do that, because what she needs is your presence,

You have to be there, talk to her, ask for forgiveness,

Others were saying that they are poor, can’t renew the road tax, no papers in their wallet,

Yet, they were boasting on using the touch screen phone,

What a shame. Boasting on something, yet they don’t owe anything,

Instead of trying to wash their sins, they are finding a whole lot of excuse on her disease,

What if this is their last time to be with her?

What if this is their final chance to treat her nicely?

She doesn’t ask much, just come and pay her a visit,

Listen to her yesteryears story,

Even a queen will be the last priority now,

Curse you to be a slave to a stranger rather then being with her,

Excuse for not having a spare time or transport is now a lame excuse,

But they never realise about this,

They seems to be carried away with their so called busy world,

But the weirdest thing is i’ve never seen them satisfy with their life,

― Mitch Albom in his book For One More Day quoted “Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back.”


The Final Thesis September 4, 2012

I just finished reading Tuesdays with Morrie. Coincidentally i manage to finish the book on Tuesday also=)

First of all, i would to say thank you to my friend, Lin, for introducing this book to her blog readers.http://tangerineofsorts.blogspot.com

You should read it too. I can feel like i can hear Professor Morrie Schwartz voice when he talked to Mitch Albom . I should try to adapt his life’s lesson in my everyday life.

Towards the ending on their final thesis , i found:

1. “There is no point in keeping vengeance or stubbornness. These things I so regret in my life. Pride. Vanity. Why do we do the things we do?”

This is the hardest part for me since i’m too stubborn to let go my vengeance=(.. I really have to learn to do this…
2. Have you ever really had a teacher? One who saw you as raw but precious thing, a jewel that, with wisdom, could be polished to a proud shine? If you are lucky enough to find your way to such teachers, you will always find your way back.

This remind me of my sister, i do not know how to describe her. The closest term i can describe her is a slow learner- A “slow learner” is not a diagnostic category, it is a term people use to describe a student who has the ability to learn necessary academic skills, but at rate and depth below average same age peers. In order to grasp new concepts, a slow learner needs more time, more repetition, and often more resources from teachers to be successful. Reasoning skills are typically delayed, which makes new concepts difficult to learn. A slow learner has traditionally been identified as anyone with a Full Scale IQ one standard deviation below the mean but not as low as two standard deviations below the mean. If a cognitive assessment (IQ test) has a mean (average) of 100, we expect most students will fall within one standard deviation of 100. That means that most students have an IQ of 85 to 115. Those who fall two standard deviations below the mean are often identified as having an Intellectual Disability (IQ below 70). A slow learner does not meet criteria for an Intellectual Disability(also called mental retardation). However, she learns slower than average students and will need additional help to succeed.( http://www.schoolpsychologistfiles.com)
I had a chat with one of the lecturers here, she told me she had a son who had a similar problem. He did not feel the necessity to study until he entered Form 2. She told me they are ‘Late Bloomers’. Keep motivating them, the will surely bloom one day. InsyaAllah. I know my sister will bloom one day, but i also wish she has a good and concern teacher to motivates her.

Part of the problem is that everyone is in such a hurry. People haven’t found meaning in their lives, so they’re running all the time looking for it. They think of the next car, the next house, the next job. Then they find those things are empty, too and they keep running. 

This is the situation i always see in my everyday life. Sometimes it makes me wanna start running, but then i think is it worth to run, is it worth the sweat? From my interpretation, i think we should do things that we want to do do without compromising the person we love. Because they will be the one who will be with us forever. This remind me on  The Alchemist –The Alchemist is a novel by Paulo Coelho first published in 1988. Originally written in Portuguese, it has been translated into 71 languages as of 2011.There’s one part in the novel, where the Shepard boy asked the wise man how he manage to be so rich. The wise man asked the boy to go around his palace and at the same time  holding the drops of oil on the spoon. On his first attempt, he manage to save the oil, but he failed to treasure the palace. On his second attempt, he manage to enjoy the luxury of the palace but he forget about the oil. Then the wise man said “Well there is only one piece of advice I can give you, The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world, and never forget the drops of oil on the spoon”.

Thank you Mitch Albom- An old man, A young man and A Life’s greatest lesson : Tuesdays with Morrie


Life Lesson #3 August 29, 2012

Filed under: Just Be Yourself — juzburself @ 3:31 am
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Whenever I went in my life, I met people wanting to gobble up something new. Gobble up a new car. Gobble up a new piece of property. Gobble up the latest toy. And then they wanted to tell you about it. ” Guess what i got?…Guess what i got?…

You know how i always interpreted that? These were people so hungry for love that they were accepting substitutes. They were embracing material things and expecting a sort of hug back. But it never works. You can’t substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship.

“Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not a substitutes for tenderness. I can tell you, as i’m sitting here dying, when you most need it, neither money nor power will give you the feeling you’re looking for, no matter how much of them you have”said Morrie.