A medium to express what i think i want to express

Thank You October 9, 2012

Filed under: Just Be Yourself — juzburself @ 4:10 am
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Served you right dear manipulator.

Allah knows the best.

You may try to cheat my family, but He protects us from your evil wishes.


I got another job offer.

I want this badly but  my hearts said the opposite.

I will keep doing my Istikhara (the istikhara is a prayer that Allah guide you towards that which is best (khayr) for you. If you do the prayer of guidance (istikhara) with the proper manners, the most important of which is to truly consign the matter to Allah and suspend your own inclinations, then Allah will make events unfold in the direction that is the best for your worldly and next-worldly affairs).http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?ID=1056


I’m feeling better as the maniac is not around.

But i do not know what will happen tomorrow.

Anyhow, Allbert Einstein asked us to “Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning”.


Organisation did a lot of bad things to us.

Until now, they still put us in the middle..we can’t move forward or backward.

Curse you for being so unprofessional on dealing the yesteryears issue.

It is such a shame to watch you digging all of the evidences to charge us.

Yet your name was mentioned in all the evidences.

How astonishing!


I have my support group now.

No matter how you want to pull me down, more people will pull me up.

You might turn me into a Hulk, but i won’t  step on you because i don’t want my feet to be dirty.


I’m reading more books now.

And whenever i’m feeling disturb, i have this medium to pour my feeling.

I’m trying to be a better person by washing away all my vengeance.

Because having a baby will be my top priority now.



Damn You September 27, 2012

Filed under: A mi alrededor — juzburself @ 1:23 am
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Lately, m attending discussion,meetings, and functions without being brief.

When i did a research, the notification had come earlier but i didn’t understand why they preferred a last-minute job.

And today i received a phone call about one of my staff who’s been putting his head under everybody’s foot, came to work.

He was suppose to be on leave, Yikes!

When he was with me, i hardly can see him even though he was not on leave.

Damn you!


Used September 12, 2012

Filed under: A mi alrededor — juzburself @ 12:34 am
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Ever felt like u’re being used?

When they asked you to do something, and you did not do it, they will condemn.
When they asked you to do something, and you implement it, they will condemn still.

I went back yesterday and i can’t get rid of voices in my head. My brain was so tired to think about this, my body was too weak to accept it, my hands were too heavy to lift it.

I am wearing three hats now. I have three departments and only one i’m officially exist.
This week is a super busy week, but nobody seems to have full force on the task given.
They let time passes by talking rubbish, yet they said they are short of staff.
Why can’t they be practical? It’s their routine job, they’ve done that since the past 10 years if i’m not mistaken.
But still, nobody seems to know anything, yet the big headed said my department is useless.

As far as i’m with my department, even though we’ve been condemn, but we never ask extra hands to help us.
When we stayed back, definitely we’ll be able to clear up 70% of the job.

In my departments, we know what our colleagues are doing. And we have less rubbish talk.

Now, everything had changed. Yes, i’m very upset if you ask me, i felt so down and i’m too angry.

But again, i can only be me, i don’t care if people hate me as long as i do my work properly.

I take this as a challenge and exposure. I force my brain to think the opposite. I’m pushing myself to be the optimist.
I’m happy to be here,
It gave me a lot of exposure,
A lot of people seems to be intimidated with my presence,
There are eyes looking at me,
There are words cursing for,
There are words praising my capability,

Above all, i’m happy because in life they will be a constant trade-off

You can smoke but you gotta have cancer.
You can binge on that piece of cake but you gotta deal with the extra pounds.
You can fall in love but you gotta deal with the heartaches.
You can lose your temper at someone but you gotta face the gnawing regret afterwards.
You can tell a white lie but you gotta face the ones that follow.
You can get wasted tonight but you gotta have that hang-over tomorrow morning.
You can have independence but you gotta face the loneliness.

Life is a constant trade-off.
Everything comes with a price.
(Taken from +oranje grove+)