A medium to express what i think i want to express

Alone November 15, 2012

Filed under: Just Be Yourself — juzburself @ 2:29 pm
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It’s true and it’s proven when my friend wrote about blogging….

“ When I first started this blog, I thought it would be, among others, an escape. Someplace I can spill my guts when I can’t talk to any of my usual confidants. I thought this would be my last resort.Someplace I can say all of my worst fears and sadness to a pair of listening ears without being judged as pathetic or helpless. But then I remembered, as few visitors as there are here, they are, never the less, people I know. And so I am forced conceal some, if not all, of what’s in my heart and my head. Yes, damnit, what I am saying is that I have something to get off my chest and I’ve got nowhere to do it.  Not even here, in a blog of my own creation. Perhaps I should have an anonymous blog elsewhere. Hmm….now there’s a thought….” Shazlin Rahiman

Hmmm..Anyhow i would like to say Thank you to all my readers or followers for spending their time to read my grumblings ( i never thought i would have one). And i would like to say Sorry to everybody if i’ve ever hurt their feelings with my stories.

Like my tagline, it’s a medium for me to express what i think i want to express, but still human will be human. They will never let you live your life happily. They will always find a way to pull you down… Let me share with you what is my understanding on blogging:-

  1. It’s a freedom
  2. It’s free and you can also pay if you wanna be a serious blogger
  3. It can also be a medium to improve your grammar or writings
  4. You can share almost about everything; it can be about yourself, fashion, food, travel and many more.

For me, you can read any blog that you like, but you don’t have to take it too personal and get carried away with your emotions.. I do not know how to put this correctly but i happened to know that someone is trying to catch an attention using my blog. Look, if you don’t like me or my writing, you can either write a comment or just ignore it. I believe Allah gave you a good brain to think wise. You don’t have to talk behind my back, calling everyone in the world to hilight about my writings, because you were never worth mentioning in my blog.

I created the blog because i’m so stressed up with my work.. And you will never know how the stories that i mentioned in my blog connected to each other. If you feel like i’m writing about you, just ask yourself “Did the story really describe you? And do you really think that i really care to judge whatever you are doing?” If you’re answer is ‘Yes’, i can’t argue more. But i was hoping for ‘No’ because i know you personally. Like Voltaire said “Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do”.

Another thing i want you to know is my parents taught me everything that we ought to know… EVERYTHING, and Alhamdullilah we can still make them smile even though we can never pay back all their hardship to raise us up. Beside my parents, i have my aunty, uncle and cousins whom have been given me so much love and happiness since i was small. Thank you so much. I love all of you so much.

To Whom It May Concern, I’m sorry if i make your heart ache or making you feel like i’m writing about you in this blog. But, i hope you know that whoever that i mentioned is not you. Again, from the bottom of my heart, i apologise if i’ve ever insult you in any of my stories. I promise you that i will be more careful or delete the stories that you feel uncomfortable with.

I would like to end my entry tonight with Shazlin Rahiman thought:-

Sometimes the language of words seems the hardest thing in the world. Sometimes it is all that stands between me and what I mean to say. Sometimes the syllables just seem to lie more than tell. Sometimes what I say and what I mean refuse to come together. Sometimes my lips says indifference when my heart says……so much more. Sometimes it’s like starting a song in the wrong chord. You can keep playing but it’ll be out of tune. Sometimes the biggest fear is one that holds me from showing what is really behind the facade. Sometimes I feel like the biggest faker.

Albom on Schwartz said….

‘I thought about how often this was needed in everyday life. How we feel lonely, sometimes to the point of tears, but we don’t let these tears come because we are not supposed to cry. Or how we feel a surge of love for a partner but we don’t say anything because we’re frozen with fear of what those words might do to the relationship.

Morrie’s approach was exactly the oposite. Turn on the faucet. Wash yourself with the emotion. It won’t hurt you. It will only help. If you let the fear inside, if you pull it on like a familiar shirt, then you can say to yourself, “All right, it’s just fear. I don’t have to let it control me. I see it for what it is.” ‘

If only.

I’m Darweena, signing off.


Shattered October 19, 2012

Filed under: Just Be Yourself — juzburself @ 9:27 am
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Time is clicking, years is passing.

The new bundle of joy keep coming,

Looking at them makes me so soothing,

Though i could not deny deep inside me, it’s devastating.




Thank You October 9, 2012

Filed under: Just Be Yourself — juzburself @ 4:10 am
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Served you right dear manipulator.

Allah knows the best.

You may try to cheat my family, but He protects us from your evil wishes.


I got another job offer.

I want this badly but  my hearts said the opposite.

I will keep doing my Istikhara (the istikhara is a prayer that Allah guide you towards that which is best (khayr) for you. If you do the prayer of guidance (istikhara) with the proper manners, the most important of which is to truly consign the matter to Allah and suspend your own inclinations, then Allah will make events unfold in the direction that is the best for your worldly and next-worldly affairs).http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?ID=1056


I’m feeling better as the maniac is not around.

But i do not know what will happen tomorrow.

Anyhow, Allbert Einstein asked us to “Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning”.


Organisation did a lot of bad things to us.

Until now, they still put us in the middle..we can’t move forward or backward.

Curse you for being so unprofessional on dealing the yesteryears issue.

It is such a shame to watch you digging all of the evidences to charge us.

Yet your name was mentioned in all the evidences.

How astonishing!


I have my support group now.

No matter how you want to pull me down, more people will pull me up.

You might turn me into a Hulk, but i won’t  step on you because i don’t want my feet to be dirty.


I’m reading more books now.

And whenever i’m feeling disturb, i have this medium to pour my feeling.

I’m trying to be a better person by washing away all my vengeance.

Because having a baby will be my top priority now.



Pain October 3, 2012

Filed under: Just Be Yourself — juzburself @ 9:15 am
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I feel pain,because i thought i’ve make them happy.

I feel pain,because i thought i’ve given them everything.

I feel pain, because i thought i’ve light up their life.

I feel pain,because i failed to satisfy their needs.

I feel pain,because i failed to provide more to them.

I feel pain,to see others keep manipulating them.

I feel pain, because others would pray for them to fall.

I feel pain,because i could not stop this idiots from disturbing them.

I feel pain,because i wish i could give them what they want.

I feel pain,because i realise i never make them happy.

I feel pain,because i only afford to give them a worthless thing.

I feel pain,because i failed to give them a comfortable life.

I feel pain,because i’m crying silently now as i’m helpless to do anything.

I feel pain,because i know they will have trouble in the future.

I feel pain,because i know the idiots will keep disturbing them.

I feel pain,because in the end they will realise that they are spending on the unnecessary things.

I feel pain, because by then it will be too late to regret.

Ya Allah,

I’m so hurt now. I know You know how hurt i am now.

It’s so hard for me to give them everything that i’ve given to them.

I hardly lavish myself with the things that i dream to have because they are my priority.

How i wish i could see them live happily, enjoying their days with whatever they have now.

But i was wrong, i was so wrong. It hurts me so much.

Ya Allah

Please let them live life happily and gratefully.

Please protect them from all the evils and the bad things.



Misjudge September 27, 2012

Filed under: Just Be Yourself — juzburself @ 1:08 am
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I was attached with so many things last week. Family matters, work and friends keep playing games in my head.

But of course, above all my family always the priority. But that’s not what i want to share today.

What i wanted to share was…..

During the busy week,i manage to bumped into Ustaz Don & family, Azmeer & family and Arja Lee & family.

Ustaz Don and Husna

They were such a lovely couple.  Just by looking at them makes you treasure a marriage life.

But human will be human, i still heard some complained about his in-laws family were not being humble.

I was so surprise to hear that, as they were totally opposite.

In fact, it’s their family members big day…you can’t expect them to treat you like a King and Queen.

And when the family shout a Congratulations and clapped their hands, they started to judge on Ustaz family.

They were saying how can Ustaz family shouting and not behaving… I was like HELLOOOOO, they were just celebrating and i didn’t see any ‘over-acting’ behavior on his in-law family.

Beside you cannot judge him as an Angel who will be perfect in every single thing.  C’mon, stop judging people and start judging yourself.
That’s much more better. I think the ‘gossipers’ need a therapist.

I pity Ustaz family as they were stuck in the situation they did not pose.

For Ustaz, family and in-law family, i somehow knew that all of you have the strength to face this, InsyaAllah.

Azmeer, the Composer

Congratulations Azmeer!

It was so nice to meet you and your family.

They were such a humble family and so proud of Azmeer.

I did not hear anything bad about you, Alhamdullilah.

Arja Lee, the Actor

Congratulations Arja!

Do remember us here…i knew you have a lot of exciting memories.

But dude, there’s a rumors saying that you’re arrogant.

But i know you…you were a cool dude.

I think these people were lack of attention..that’s why they create such things…hahhaa

Anyway, best of luck in your future undertakings

Never ever judge a book by its cover and Wayne Dyner said  “When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.”


Quotes of the Day September 13, 2012

Filed under: Just Be Yourself — juzburself @ 3:09 am
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“Good leadership consists of showing average people how to do the work of superior”

-One of them is Tun Mahathir Mohamad. It’s funny when you see people who oppose his ideas in Malaysia development, but in the end they were the one using the facilities they critics…hahahahah-

“I not only think but also look and study things carefully. When I travel around, I look at things carefully, make comparisons of what I see. I don’t accept things at face value, you cannot trust what you hear or see. Don’t jump to conclusions without thinking.”- Tun Mahathir Mohamad

-Sadly i live in an environment where ‘jumping to conclusion’ is the only solution, and their brain was park under their feet-

“To be a great leader, one needs to have good strategies, be knowledgeable and able to predict the future,” -Tun Mahathir Mohamad

-Strategies is essential in leadership…i wish i can be like him. Love you Tun-


Marriage September 7, 2012

Filed under: Just Be Yourself — juzburself @ 12:42 am
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There are a few rules I know about marriage: If you don’t respect the other person, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don’t know how to compromise,you’re gonna have a lot of trouble.If you can’t talk openly about what goes on between you, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don’t have common set of values in life, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike- Morrie Schwartz

Thank you Chayunk for always be there for me, for being a good listener, for all the compromise you gave to me and a lot, lot more…..

Thank you… Thank you.. Thank you…
Muahx you billionsssss