Ever felt like u’re being used?
When they asked you to do something, and you did not do it, they will condemn.
When they asked you to do something, and you implement it, they will condemn still.
I went back yesterday and i can’t get rid of voices in my head. My brain was so tired to think about this, my body was too weak to accept it, my hands were too heavy to lift it.
I am wearing three hats now. I have three departments and only one i’m officially exist.
This week is a super busy week, but nobody seems to have full force on the task given.
They let time passes by talking rubbish, yet they said they are short of staff.
Why can’t they be practical? It’s their routine job, they’ve done that since the past 10 years if i’m not mistaken.
But still, nobody seems to know anything, yet the big headed said my department is useless.
As far as i’m with my department, even though we’ve been condemn, but we never ask extra hands to help us.
When we stayed back, definitely we’ll be able to clear up 70% of the job.
In my departments, we know what our colleagues are doing. And we have less rubbish talk.
Now, everything had changed. Yes, i’m very upset if you ask me, i felt so down and i’m too angry.
But again, i can only be me, i don’t care if people hate me as long as i do my work properly.
I take this as a challenge and exposure. I force my brain to think the opposite. I’m pushing myself to be the optimist.
I’m happy to be here,
It gave me a lot of exposure,
A lot of people seems to be intimidated with my presence,
There are eyes looking at me,
There are words cursing for,
There are words praising my capability,
Above all, i’m happy because in life they will be a constant trade-off
You can smoke but you gotta have cancer.
You can binge on that piece of cake but you gotta deal with the extra pounds.
You can fall in love but you gotta deal with the heartaches.
You can lose your temper at someone but you gotta face the gnawing regret afterwards.
You can tell a white lie but you gotta face the ones that follow.
You can get wasted tonight but you gotta have that hang-over tomorrow morning.
You can have independence but you gotta face the loneliness.
Life is a constant trade-off.
Everything comes with a price.
(Taken from +oranje grove+)