A medium to express what i think i want to express

Alone November 15, 2012

Filed under: Just Be Yourself — juzburself @ 2:29 pm
Tags: , ,



It’s true and it’s proven when my friend wrote about blogging….

“ When I first started this blog, I thought it would be, among others, an escape. Someplace I can spill my guts when I can’t talk to any of my usual confidants. I thought this would be my last resort.Someplace I can say all of my worst fears and sadness to a pair of listening ears without being judged as pathetic or helpless. But then I remembered, as few visitors as there are here, they are, never the less, people I know. And so I am forced conceal some, if not all, of what’s in my heart and my head. Yes, damnit, what I am saying is that I have something to get off my chest and I’ve got nowhere to do it.  Not even here, in a blog of my own creation. Perhaps I should have an anonymous blog elsewhere. Hmm….now there’s a thought….” Shazlin Rahiman

Hmmm..Anyhow i would like to say Thank you to all my readers or followers for spending their time to read my grumblings ( i never thought i would have one). And i would like to say Sorry to everybody if i’ve ever hurt their feelings with my stories.

Like my tagline, it’s a medium for me to express what i think i want to express, but still human will be human. They will never let you live your life happily. They will always find a way to pull you down… Let me share with you what is my understanding on blogging:-

  1. It’s a freedom
  2. It’s free and you can also pay if you wanna be a serious blogger
  3. It can also be a medium to improve your grammar or writings
  4. You can share almost about everything; it can be about yourself, fashion, food, travel and many more.

For me, you can read any blog that you like, but you don’t have to take it too personal and get carried away with your emotions.. I do not know how to put this correctly but i happened to know that someone is trying to catch an attention using my blog. Look, if you don’t like me or my writing, you can either write a comment or just ignore it. I believe Allah gave you a good brain to think wise. You don’t have to talk behind my back, calling everyone in the world to hilight about my writings, because you were never worth mentioning in my blog.

I created the blog because i’m so stressed up with my work.. And you will never know how the stories that i mentioned in my blog connected to each other. If you feel like i’m writing about you, just ask yourself “Did the story really describe you? And do you really think that i really care to judge whatever you are doing?” If you’re answer is ‘Yes’, i can’t argue more. But i was hoping for ‘No’ because i know you personally. Like Voltaire said “Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do”.

Another thing i want you to know is my parents taught me everything that we ought to know… EVERYTHING, and Alhamdullilah we can still make them smile even though we can never pay back all their hardship to raise us up. Beside my parents, i have my aunty, uncle and cousins whom have been given me so much love and happiness since i was small. Thank you so much. I love all of you so much.

To Whom It May Concern, I’m sorry if i make your heart ache or making you feel like i’m writing about you in this blog. But, i hope you know that whoever that i mentioned is not you. Again, from the bottom of my heart, i apologise if i’ve ever insult you in any of my stories. I promise you that i will be more careful or delete the stories that you feel uncomfortable with.

I would like to end my entry tonight with Shazlin Rahiman thought:-

Sometimes the language of words seems the hardest thing in the world. Sometimes it is all that stands between me and what I mean to say. Sometimes the syllables just seem to lie more than tell. Sometimes what I say and what I mean refuse to come together. Sometimes my lips says indifference when my heart says……so much more. Sometimes it’s like starting a song in the wrong chord. You can keep playing but it’ll be out of tune. Sometimes the biggest fear is one that holds me from showing what is really behind the facade. Sometimes I feel like the biggest faker.

Albom on Schwartz said….

‘I thought about how often this was needed in everyday life. How we feel lonely, sometimes to the point of tears, but we don’t let these tears come because we are not supposed to cry. Or how we feel a surge of love for a partner but we don’t say anything because we’re frozen with fear of what those words might do to the relationship.

Morrie’s approach was exactly the oposite. Turn on the faucet. Wash yourself with the emotion. It won’t hurt you. It will only help. If you let the fear inside, if you pull it on like a familiar shirt, then you can say to yourself, “All right, it’s just fear. I don’t have to let it control me. I see it for what it is.” ‘

If only.

I’m Darweena, signing off.


Never Forget This November 3, 2012

Filed under: A mi alrededor — juzburself @ 4:54 pm
Tags: , , , ,

To my beloved sisters,

I reached home around 11pm last night, i saw her small figure  covered with a blanket. I went and kissed her. 15 minutes later, she was awake. She told me she saw my cat, i did not know how she sensed this. Anyway, that very night i saw how skinny she was. I felt ache in my heart to see her fragile body. But she was a strong lady. I helped her to the toilet, changed her diaper and recite a du’a for her and again i gave her a goodnight kiss.

This morning, after she had her breakfast she was walking around the house and talked about  “things”. I was wondering what was on her mind actually? What did she want? Was she in pain? Was she afraid of something? I dunno.
But what i know, i’m feeling pain seeing her like that.

But sisters, m glad that she’s here with us. We’ll try to do the best possible to make her happy yah. InsyaAllah.

And just too share with you sisters, i found this to be a guideline for us. InsyaAllah.

Why Should I Care for my Aging Parents?

By: Umm Abd Al-Rahman

Taken from: http://www.islamunveiled.org

Ooof!  This seems to be a common response among the sons and daughters of their aging mother or father or both in today’s world.  The Homes for the Aged and Convalescent Hospitals are the common drop-off for today’s aged.   AGING PARENTS ARE CONSIDERED A NUISANCE AND INCONVENIENCE IN TODAY’S “FAST PACED, IMPATIENT, “ME FIRST” ERA.  THE TRUTH IS, WE WILL SOON BE THOSE WHO ARE WEAK AND DEPENDANT NEEDING ASSISTANCE AND COMPANIONSHIP FROM OUR CHILDREN.  How am I treating my aged mother?  How will my children treat me when I become old, God willing? Would I like to stay in the comfort of my home or my son or daughter’s home or in the constricted walls of an old age home?

Alhamdulilah, we have been given clear instructions on how to care for our parents from He who created us.  Our parents are held in high esteem right after being told to worship God Most High alone.

“Worship none but Allah and be good to parents”.  (Quran: 2:83)

We are explicitly told to be thankful to our parents for all they have done for us.

“And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents.  His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years.  Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.”  (Q. 31:14)


Aliah Schleiffer wrote in her book, “Motherhood in Islam”:

“When parents reach the period of old age, this is the time which offers the Muslim the greatest opportunity to fulfil one’s obligations to them, and thus hope to gain Allah’s pleasure.  Muslims are counselled to keep in mind the fact that their elderly parents were devoted to them when they were in need of care as a child, while at the same time, to remember that they are parents, not children, with all the rights and privileges due to them as such.”

We have more specific instructions concerning those who took care of us in our time of need.

“And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him and to parents, good treatment.  Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as] “Ooof!” and do not repel them but speak to them graciously.  And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.” (Q. 17:23-24)


            “And dutiful toward his parents, and he was not arrogant, rebellious.” 

                                                                                                                       (Q. 19:14)


Mrs. Schleiffer continues to write:

“At-Tabari emphasizes that due to the words “your Lord has decreed” this is a command from Allah to show kindness to parents, to do good to them and to respect them.  He says the meaning is not to grumble (mutter a complaint) about something that you see in one of them, or both, a  kind of muttering that people are hurt by, but rather, to be patient with them in anticipation of (spiritual) reward, as they were patient with you when you were young.

Al-Qurtubi says that reverence and goodness to parents is that you do not insult or blaspheme them because this is, without argument, one of the major sins. Al-Qurtubi refers to the following Hadith: The Prophet (pbuh) said,

“Indeed, abuse of a man’s parents is one of the major sins.  They said:  O Messenger of Allah, does a man abuse his parents?  He said: Yes.  The man insults the father of (another) man, so the (other) man insults the first one’s father and he insults the other one’s mother and vice-versa.”(Muslim)

And, “Allah cursed whoever cursed his parents!”  (Muslim)

Regarding the saying, “Ooof!” which can so easily come out of our mouth when we are feeling overwhelmed, stressed and vexed, the Prophet (pbuh) said,

“The major sins are associating anything with Allah and rudeness to parents and killing anyone and swearing a false oath purposefully.”  (Al-Bukhari)

“Verily, Allah forbade for you rudeness (disobedience) to mothers.”  (Al-Bukhari)


            “He who ends the day and his parents are satisfied with him and begins the day thus, ends and begins the day, and to him two doors to Paradise are opened; and if it is one parent, then one door.  And he who ends and begins the day and is the object of odiousness to his parents, he ends and begins the day and to him, two doors to the Fire are opened and if it is one parent, then one door.  Then a man said:  O Messenger of Allah, and if they have mistreated (oppressed) him?  He said, “And (even) if they have mistreated him and even if they have mistreated him and even if they have mistreated him.” (Al-Qurtubi)

“The satisfaction of the Lord is (in) the satisfaction of the parents and the displeasure of the Lord is (in) the displeasure of the parents.”  (Al-Qurtubi)

The Prophet (pbuh) said, “Safeguard the love for your parents.  Do not cut it off or your light will be extinguished by Allah.”  (Al-Bukhari)

Abdullah Ibn Mas’ud asked the Prophet:  “Which deed was the preferred one?”  He said:  “Prayer at its proper time”.  Then he asked:  Which is next?  He said, “Kindness and respect to parents.”…

When we are kind to our parents, showing respect and patience to them, courteous, compassionate and tender giving them our companionship with no harsh or objectionable remarks we are rewarded with Paradise and are considered a mujahid (one striving in the cause of Allah).

The Prophet (pbuh) said, “Are your parents alive?” (addressing one he excused from jihad).  He said, “Yes”.  He said, “Striving in serving them is your jihad”.  (Al-Bukhari)

A man came to the messenger and said, “I longed to go to jihad but was not able to.  He said, “Is either one of your parents still alive?  The man said, “My mother’.  He said, “Allah has instructed us in devotion to her, so if you do thus, you are as one who has made the hajj, the ‘umrah and participated in jihad.”  (At-Tabarani)

The mother has a very high status in Islam.  A man came to Allah’s Prophet (may the peace and prayers of Allah be upon him) and  said, “O Apostle of Allah!  Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?”  The Prophet said, “Your mother.”  The man said, “Then who?”  The Prophet said, “Your mother.”  The man said again, “Then who?”  The Prophet said, “Your mother.”  Then he asked again, “Then who?”  The Prophet said, “Your father.”  (Al-Bukhari)

Muslim scholars say the reason for giving the mother preference over the father or other relative is her exhausting efforts for the sake of her child, her compassion, her service, the great difficulty of pregnancy, delivery, nursing and rearing of the child, her service and care for the child when it is sick, etc.  The mother is the strongest member of the family in kindness and devotedness.

A man came to the Prophet (pbuh) and said, “I committed a great sin.  Is there anything I can do to repent?  He said, “Do you have a mother?  The man said, “No.”  He said, “Do you have a maternal aunt?”    The man said, “Yes.”  He said, “Then be kind and devoted to her.”  (At-Tirmidhi)

Taking good care of one’s mother can only bring blessing and goodness to the son or daughter.

Everytime ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) saw the reinforcements from Yemen, he asked them, “Is Uways ibn ‘Amir among you?” until he found Uways.  He asked him, “Are you Uways ibn ‘Amir?”  Uways said, “Yes.”  Umar asked, “Are you from the clan of Murad in the tribe of Qaran?  Uways said, “Yes.”  Umar asked, “Did you have leprosy, then you were cured of it except for an area the size of a dirham?  Uways said, “Yes.”  Umar said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah (may the peace and prayers of Allah be upon him) say:  ‘There will come to you with the reinforcements from Yemen a man called Uways ibn ‘Amir of the clan of Murad from the tribe of Qaran.  He had leprosy but has been cured of it except for a spot the size of a dirham.  He has a mother and he has always treated her with kindness and respect.  If he prays to Allah Most High, Allah Most High will fulfill his wish.  If you can ask him to pray for forgiveness for you, then do so.’  So ask  Allah Most High to forgive me.” Uways asked Allah Most High to forgive him, then ‘Umar asked him, “Where are you going?”  Uways said, “To Kufah.”  ‘Umar said, “Shall I write a letter of recommendation for you to the governor there?  Uways said, “I prefer to be anonymous among the people.”  (Muslim)


A man from Bani Sallamah came and he said:  O Messenger of Allah (pbuh) is there any remaining chance to show devotion to my parents after they have died?  He said: Yes, pray for them and ask forgiveness for them, fulfill their contracts after them and keep up family relations that they used to maintain and respect their friends.”  (Abu Dawud)

Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas:  “Whoever performs the pilgrimage for his parents or terminates a debt for them, Allah sends him forth with the righteous on the Day of Ascension.”  (At-Tabarani)

Do we remember when we were weak, helpless and needy, incapable of doing things for ourselves?  Who took care of us?  Who stayed awake at night for our sake?  Who struggled to provide food, clothing and shelter for us while we were growing up?  Who supports us with their prayers?  Our parents served us unconditionally when we were small and weak…How will we treat them when they become old and weak?  Abu Umamah narrated:  “They are your Paradise and your Hell-Fire” (the parents)   Ibn Majah

I am instructed to be kind and respectful to my parents in all circumstances whether they are kind and respectful to me. I spare no effort to make them happy, check on them and offer my services whenever they are in need.  I visit them often and greet them always with a cheerful smile, a loving heart and words of kindness.  When they pass on I can still show respect to them by praying for them, giving charity on their behalf and paying off whatever debts they may owe to Allah Most High or to other people.

“Our Lord!  Forgive me and my parents and the believers on the Day of Reckoning”   (Q. 14:41)


“My Lord! Arouse me to be thankful for Thy favor wherewith Thou hast favored me and my parents.” (Q. 71:28)

Dearest sisters, never ever forget about this. Never ever forget our responsibility to our parents.Without them we will never exist in this world. Remember, we will become old one day, and our children, nephews and nieces will be the witness on how we treat our parents. No matter how much money you have you can’t pay to have a parents. May we stick together and do our responsibility and May Allah Bless Us.



Shattered October 19, 2012

Filed under: Just Be Yourself — juzburself @ 9:27 am
Tags: , ,

Time is clicking, years is passing.

The new bundle of joy keep coming,

Looking at them makes me so soothing,

Though i could not deny deep inside me, it’s devastating.




Shocked October 12, 2012

Filed under: A mi alrededor — juzburself @ 3:06 pm
Tags: , ,

I was shocked when she told me he did that,

I tried my best to find the correct words to say,

I was tring to give her the best advice to ease her,

I felt so helpless over here listening to her pain.

Why? Why did you do this to her?

You are such a good man,

God gave you a beautiful baby of your own,

Please think of them, they are the one who’ll be going to be with you forever,

And to the b**ch, if you consider yourself a woman, then be a human,

You scratched my friend once, you’ll get worst later,

If you think you still have your pride, then stop selling yourself to him,

You will never know what will happen in the future,

So try to understand a woman’s feeling if you don’t want to be hurt,

Don’t be too cheap by stealing others property,

Use your brain if you have one,yah.

Allah always look upon us. Do remember that.




Thank You October 9, 2012

Filed under: Just Be Yourself — juzburself @ 4:10 am
Tags: , , , ,


Served you right dear manipulator.

Allah knows the best.

You may try to cheat my family, but He protects us from your evil wishes.


I got another job offer.

I want this badly but  my hearts said the opposite.

I will keep doing my Istikhara (the istikhara is a prayer that Allah guide you towards that which is best (khayr) for you. If you do the prayer of guidance (istikhara) with the proper manners, the most important of which is to truly consign the matter to Allah and suspend your own inclinations, then Allah will make events unfold in the direction that is the best for your worldly and next-worldly affairs).http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?ID=1056


I’m feeling better as the maniac is not around.

But i do not know what will happen tomorrow.

Anyhow, Allbert Einstein asked us to “Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning”.


Organisation did a lot of bad things to us.

Until now, they still put us in the middle..we can’t move forward or backward.

Curse you for being so unprofessional on dealing the yesteryears issue.

It is such a shame to watch you digging all of the evidences to charge us.

Yet your name was mentioned in all the evidences.

How astonishing!


I have my support group now.

No matter how you want to pull me down, more people will pull me up.

You might turn me into a Hulk, but i won’t  step on you because i don’t want my feet to be dirty.


I’m reading more books now.

And whenever i’m feeling disturb, i have this medium to pour my feeling.

I’m trying to be a better person by washing away all my vengeance.

Because having a baby will be my top priority now.



Pain October 3, 2012

Filed under: Just Be Yourself — juzburself @ 9:15 am
Tags: , ,

I feel pain,because i thought i’ve make them happy.

I feel pain,because i thought i’ve given them everything.

I feel pain, because i thought i’ve light up their life.

I feel pain,because i failed to satisfy their needs.

I feel pain,because i failed to provide more to them.

I feel pain,to see others keep manipulating them.

I feel pain, because others would pray for them to fall.

I feel pain,because i could not stop this idiots from disturbing them.

I feel pain,because i wish i could give them what they want.

I feel pain,because i realise i never make them happy.

I feel pain,because i only afford to give them a worthless thing.

I feel pain,because i failed to give them a comfortable life.

I feel pain,because i’m crying silently now as i’m helpless to do anything.

I feel pain,because i know they will have trouble in the future.

I feel pain,because i know the idiots will keep disturbing them.

I feel pain,because in the end they will realise that they are spending on the unnecessary things.

I feel pain, because by then it will be too late to regret.

Ya Allah,

I’m so hurt now. I know You know how hurt i am now.

It’s so hard for me to give them everything that i’ve given to them.

I hardly lavish myself with the things that i dream to have because they are my priority.

How i wish i could see them live happily, enjoying their days with whatever they have now.

But i was wrong, i was so wrong. It hurts me so much.

Ya Allah

Please let them live life happily and gratefully.

Please protect them from all the evils and the bad things.



Sad October 1, 2012

Filed under: A mi alrededor — juzburself @ 9:37 am
Tags: , , , ,

She’s in her poor health now,

All she wants… is to be with her children, brothers and sisters,

Sadly, nobody seems to be attentive to her,

They keep pointing fingers on the caused instead of giving her a solution,

I don’t understand how can they be so cruel,

One of them giving the excuse to celebrate a Royal Highness birthday,

My thought is who is this Royal Highness?

You don’t even have a blood ties with them,

Why are you slaving yourself for them?

No wonder all your kids are worthless,

One of them is playing words in FB to show the worry,

I don’t think there is a necessity to do that, because what she needs is your presence,

You have to be there, talk to her, ask for forgiveness,

Others were saying that they are poor, can’t renew the road tax, no papers in their wallet,

Yet, they were boasting on using the touch screen phone,

What a shame. Boasting on something, yet they don’t owe anything,

Instead of trying to wash their sins, they are finding a whole lot of excuse on her disease,

What if this is their last time to be with her?

What if this is their final chance to treat her nicely?

She doesn’t ask much, just come and pay her a visit,

Listen to her yesteryears story,

Even a queen will be the last priority now,

Curse you to be a slave to a stranger rather then being with her,

Excuse for not having a spare time or transport is now a lame excuse,

But they never realise about this,

They seems to be carried away with their so called busy world,

But the weirdest thing is i’ve never seen them satisfy with their life,

― Mitch Albom in his book For One More Day quoted “Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back.”